Its about making memories worth repressing
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
