Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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