Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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