I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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