Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize