The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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