Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize