Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
