I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
