no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
