Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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