OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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