So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
