All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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