Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
