i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
My liver just had a heart attack.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
