had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
