last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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