dude i'm inner monologue high
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
