exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
