the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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