there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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