I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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