maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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