I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
