but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
