it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
