i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
