nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
