I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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