Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
