i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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