I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my being single is dangerous.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize