I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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