every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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