His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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