Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
