I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
