I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
