but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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