Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
