Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize