I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
