White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
