need another drink. this is the easiest way
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
