I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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