I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
