I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
