I'm drive I can fine osifer
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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