how do flat chested girls get laid?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
