That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
