what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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