Just mADE A PArabola og urine
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
