I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
