if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
