also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize