Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
