Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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