Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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